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Dick Jokes are for Kids!

by MarianneToiletandTheRuns

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1.
Everybody’s getting laid! Everybody’s getting laid, Everybody’s getting laid, Everybody’s getting laid Come on baby stick it in! Everybody’s getting laid! Everybody’s getting laid, Everybody’s getting laid, Everybody’s getting laid Give it to me, give it hard! Everybody’s getting laid! Everybody’s getting laid, Everybody’s getting laid, Everybody’s getting laid Ooh feels so good! Now is the time now is the place I want you to sit down on my face I’m gonna cum right in your eye You’re gonna moan and laugh and cry I want you to flex for sex the best I’m gonna put a steamer right on your chest Tonight we’re all gonna lick and suck We’re gonna spank and yank and fuck! Everybody’s getting laid! Everybody’s getting laid, Everybody’s getting laid, Everybody’s getting laid Come on baby stick it in! Everybody’s getting laid! Everybody’s getting laid, Everybody’s getting laid, Everybody’s getting laid Inside my vagina! Everybody’s getting laid! Everybody’s getting laid, Everybody’s getting laid, Everybody’s getting laid Almost there I’m gonna cum! Everybody line up pick a girl or a dude It’s time to get nasty lewd and crude Find a boy or toy or a pegger even better I once knew a guy who fucked a sweater! You can do anything that you can conceive I know you got other moves up your sleeve Find a guy or pie or a chick or a dick Find a lollipop stick it in and give it a lick! EVERYBODY GET LAID EVERYBODY GET LAID EVERYBODY GET LAID EVERYBODY GET LAID Everybody’s getting laid! Everybody’s getting laid, Everybody’s getting laid, Everybody’s getting laid Eiffel Tower Everybody’s getting laid! Everybody’s getting laid, Everybody’s getting laid, Everybody’s getting laid Cleveland Steamer Everybody’s getting laid! Everybody’s getting laid, Everybody’s getting laid, Everybody’s getting laid Don't go anywhere... I'll get you a towel
2.
Diggy Dow 02:00
3.
I wanna touch you, wanna hug you, wanna love you I wanna caress, wanna undress, make a mess with you I wanna ride, inside, every position with you I wanna do so much but there is so little that we can do Social distancing.... noooooooo! This fucking sucks! I can’t lick your ass I can’t suck your face You can’t juggle my balls and get covered in my glaze Can’t stroke your thighs can’t claim my prize From six feet away we’re neutralized! Social distancing... noooooooo! When’s it gonna end?! Because I’m stuck here at home there is nothing that I can do I can’t get in my car and head over to finger you We can’t go out to that show, can’t let you give me a blow, We can’t do that thing that you love and makes your titties glow I’m stuck here waiting and worrying about my pending doom And thinking ‘bout that thing you like when I break out the spoon! There’s nothing we can do but wait for this to come to an end And when it does I’m gonna fuck every one of my friends! That’s right you’re all gonna get freaky with Marianne I glazing everyone is lubricant and marzipan We gonna do shit that our feeble minds cannot conceive And when we’re done we’ll know our sentences have been reprieved This is all temporary, but man it sucks I miss simple things like not giving a fuck But what are you gonna do? We’ll just wait and see Just know I miss you all, and can’t wait till we’re free I’m running ragged running rampant running out of ideas To keep my head together filled with so much panic and fear I just keep going but I know I’m headed nowhere When will this be over so I can out of here?! Social distancing... noooooooo! Social distancing... noooooooo! Social distancing... noooooooo! now! Social distancing... noooooooo! Social distancing... noooooooo! Social distancing... noooooooo! Social distancing... noooooooo! When can I party again? No really when?? What ever happened to going out to eat?? And what about live shows! Bet you regret passing them up Fuck, even miss going to work, how did that happen?? Or going to church, do people still do that?? There really is a limit to Netflix and chill!
4.
Always clean your feet, Always bring extra lubricant I know people think that a condom is all they need for that first time to be jubilant (but NO!) Always pack some rope, gloves can come in handy too You never know when that scene from 50 Shades of Gray becomes the best night ever for you! Blindfolds can be fun, also don’t be afraid of food Sometimes a messy night can become something out of sight, and put you in splendid mood Don’t be afraid, of what other people say is taboo You’re getting laid, This is the night your fantasies come true! Just give it a try, take a breath and say it’s alright You’re not gonna die, unless you do, and in that case I’m sorry I misled you OOF!! I’m sorry, I just want you to be ready You gotta be prepared, you never know if tonight is gonna be the night of your life You shouldn’t be scared, though this may be your first time with a future, partner, husband or wife Embrace something new, the person may unlock something you never knew that you had Just let it in you, keep saying to yourself it isn’t really that bad Don’t be afraid, of what other people say is taboo You’re getting laid, This is the night your fantasies come true! Just give it a try, take a breath and say it’s alright I’m not gonna lie, It could go great or it could be the worst night of your life I’m here for you, if it all goes wrong, if the passion’s too strong, if a dong is too long For you, if they choke too firm, if he gives you worms, you get covered in sperm Or glue, and you can’t get out, the stress gives you gout and you shout My waffles’ Turned Blue, you got an STD, now it burns when you pee, and you just wanted a night of ecstasy! Dating sucks! Always charge your phone, you never know if you’ll need a friend To join in all the fun, you could invite everyone, or you could flee if the date needs to end Keep an open mind, it’s the only path to find your bliss Don’t deny it, until you try it, you might fall in love with a kiss or a fist Don’t be afraid, of what other people say is taboo You’re getting laid, This is the night your fantasies come true! Just give it a try, take a breath and say it’s alright It’s only one night, but it could totally change your sexual appetite! Don’t be afraid, of what other people say is taboo You’re getting laid, This is the night your fantasies come true! Just give it a try, take a breath and say it’s alright Be ready to fly, this could be the night you sore like a meteorite Try not to die!
5.
Open all your holes to me Show me that dark place where I want to be Alone with your soul, fulfilled by my pole Making you feel whole again Open all your holes to me Make me believe that you see what I see That You’re lonely and you’re scared, Your secrets have been shared With a man who hasn’t dared to care So the story goes And we all know that it goes to show These moments that we share Is just a moment that gets lost in the air So hold on to me, and know it’s all gonna be, all right... I just came... goodnight Open all your holes to me Show me that dark place where I want to be Alone with your soul, fulfilled by my pole Making you feel whole again Open ALL your holes to me Open ALL your holes to me Open ALL your holes to me Open ALL your holes to me I just came again
6.
IWF 01:00
I wanna fuck I wanna fuck I wanna fuck I wanna fuck I wanna fuck I wanna fuck I wanna fuck I wanna FUCK YOU! Fuck I wanna fuck I wanna fuck I wanna fuck I wanna fuck I wanna fuck I wanna fuck I wanna fuck I wanna FUCK YOU! Fuck I wanna fuck I wanna fuck I wanna fuck I wanna fuck I wanna fuck I wanna fuck I wanna fuck I wanna FUCK YOU! I wanna fuck I wanna fuck I wanna fuck I wanna fuck I wanna fuck I wanna fuck I wanna fuck I wanna FUCK YOU! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK YOU!! I wanna fuck I wanna fuck I wanna fuck I wanna fuck I wanna fuck Lyrics for October shows I wanna fuck I wanna fuck I wanna FUCK YOU! Fuck I wanna fuck I wanna fuck I wanna fuck I wanna fuck I wanna fuck I wanna fuck I wanna fuck I wanna FUCK YOU! Fuck I wanna fuck I wanna fuck I wanna fuck I wanna fuck I wanna fuck I wanna fuck I wanna fuck I wanna FUCK YOU! I wanna fuck I wanna fuck I wanna fuck I wanna fuck I wanna fuck I wanna fuck I wanna fuck I wanna FUCK YOU! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK I'm lonely!
7.
Rule 34 02:47
Rule 34 there’s anything in porn, There’s everything in porn, I wanna be in porn! Rule 34 you don’t have to be a whore, But you shouldn’t be a bore, I wanna suck it till you’re sore! Rule 34 can do it on the floor Can screw it on the door More more more more! Rule 34 in the drawer on the shore Making s’mores in a war Makin’ sex galore! It’s anything you want it to be It could be suckin’ or fuckin’ or huggin’ a tree Do you like bananas or wearin’ pajamas Are you like Bruce Banner gettin’ too many gammas It could be anything you can dream about could be trout or a scout or just holding out Could be a man with a plan or a tanned mailman in the sand with a band and the band’s in demand Would you like hold a pillow or to watch the movie Willow Or head to the beach and watch waves billow You can fuck anything you want With Rule 34 it doesn’t have to be a cunt Like a dick or stick or a candle wick You can five knuckle shuffle to Spiderwick The sky’s the limit can you dig when you stick it Do you think this beat can really kick it? What is this new thing I see But a bear who’s dress like Little Bo Peep? Or a sexy girl dressed like sheep Or a group of people who are fast asleep The world is vast we’re gonna have a blast I’m gonna fuck him fast or I’ll make it last We’re gonna chill… that’s right ice sex! Gonna chill… we’re going polar diving! We’re gonna chill… as we ride the waves And my testicles reverse becoming concave Gonna chill… Rule 34 there’s anything in porn, There’s everything in porn, I wanna be in porn! Rule 34 doing chores in Ecuador and your knob is a slob more cum to pour Rule 34 you fuck in Baltimore or maybe Singapore or you suck in Salvador Rule 34 going through the back door I expect an encore What you crying for?
8.
Sis Loves Me 02:19
I spend too much time going online, to watch that BBW Bukkake and furries barely legal teens I want to see a flick that will engorge my dick, because I need to view a few movies that are way too taboo I struggle looking to find the pornos that will haunt my mind Is it so wrong for me to want to fuck some family Incest sexuality, Sis Loves Me! It can’t just be me who’s watching fucking families, some mommy daddy bratty sis, sucking dicks and licking clits I guess it’s not enough to see some normal kinky stuff, the world wants something sick and twisted, daddy’s daughter getting fisted I can’t be the only one who thinks this shit is not that fun How did porn become so wrong to lead us to this fucking song Incest sexuality... Who’s your daddy?!?! Is it so wrong to want a little love with a little respect Don’t wanna see some daddy getting daughter’s pussy wet Don’t wanna see no brothers fucking sisters THAT AIN’T RIGHT I wanna see some mating UNRELATED all night! Don’t wanna see the brother and the sister mother fucker and the daddy’s gonna peg her get her better wetter Though I wanna see a chick and sucking dick and finger licking gonna ticky ticky ticky gonna tickle on the clittle! I wanna see two lesbians or maybe two thespians actin’ and packin’ fullfillin’ their role! I wanna see a man workin’ hard as he can to wax that ass and drill that hole! It’s not so crazy maybe a little bit lazy to keep it in the family Like they ran out of people to invite to the party couldn’t even find couples into polyamory What ever happened to the plumber fixing leaky pipes And what about the delivery boy with pizza on a rainy night? Where did the stories go and what about the glory holes? We want a little chocolate less vanilla people playing roles Is it so crazy that we don’t want genealogy When it’s time to buff the muffin don’t wanna do no lovin’ to progeny! Incest Sexuality... Not for me!
9.
If I don’t laugh, I’ll cry If I'm not chasing my dreams I’ll die. Because life, is ours for the taking And if we’re not laughing then what’s a life worth making. So laugh, with me And be proud of who you choose to be And just know I’m here on your side If we don’t laugh, we’ll cry If we’re not chasing our dreams we’ll die. Because life, is ours for the taking And if we’re not laughing then what’s a life worth making. So laugh, with me And be proud of who you choose to be And just know I’m here on your side

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released September 25, 2021

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MarianneToiletandTheRuns Boston, Massachusetts

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